Friday, October 7, 2011

How to be a real lolita.

So i got this idea from reading all sorts of drama off getoffegl, and loli-secrets. Why not take all those rules and exaggerate them to hell and back? This is for fun and giggles not to be taken seriously. In my opinion EGL needs to stand back and laugh at itself more often. They take everything too seriously.

1: Wear a petticoat all the time. If you don't have the cupcake shape. Don't bother leaving the house.
2: Do your make up. Do not get raccoon eyes. Do not use bold lipstick colors you are not Mana.
3: Use a shit ton of foundation/cover up. Dolls have perfect skin. Cover up your flaws if you have them. (Even if you don't still use some.)
4: Wear a blouse all the time. Short sleeved blouses are good with skirts and JSKs. (if it's winter use long sleeved blouses both for jsks and ops.)) Buy separate short sleeved and long sleeved blouses. Detachable sleeves are for ITAs.
5: Wear socks or tights. Do not ever wear shoes without socks.
6: Do your hair. If your hair isn't pretty enough buy a wig and wear it. But don't wear it badly everyone can tell a shit wig from a good wig.
7: Wear a hair bow. Or a bonnet. Or a hat. Anything at all.
8: Wear necklaces, rings, and bracelets.
9: Only eat and drink lolita approved food and drinks.
10: Only have lolita friends.
11: Only have hobbies that are approved for lolitas by lolitas.
12: Never ever curse, raise your voice, insult anyone, or hit anyone. Ever. Those are things that ladies don't do.
13: When you see another lolita if she's fatter then you (doesn't matter by how much) call her a 'fattychan'
14: If you see someone who's dressed better or worse then you call her an 'ita', or assume she's wearing a replica and supports those. If you see cosplay lolitas (that aren't trying to be lolita.) go up to them and lecture them on the real lolita and how to do it right, and why they suck at it.
15: Never buy from replica shops.
16: Never buy from Anna house, Bodyline, or Fan plus Friend. If you aren't spending all your money on brand you're doing it wrong.
17: Hire a maid because princesses don't do work.
18: The most important one is to Always be nice. No matter what. Don't ever say anything mean to anyone ever.

Follow these simple steps and very soon you'll be a real lolita! 


Katie said...

LOL. "Call her a fattychan," "If you see cosplay lolitas, go up to them and lecture them," and then "Always be nice, no matter what." I love the contradictions. <3

Cali said...

Yeah that's the general vibe i get from egl lolitas.

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